IC Inbox

[detectiveofthewest]

"Hey there! I ain't here right now, so leave a message and I'll get back to ya when I can."

TEXT / VOICEMAIL / OLD-FASHIONED LETTERS WHAT ARE THOSE...

♫ Dragon Palace - Okami
♫ Wind's Direction - Bravely Default
♫ World Map - Ni no Kuni
♫ Kiseki no Umi - Record of Lodoss War
♫ Time after Time - Mai Kuraki

Comments

4/4

[megidoomed]

some people are clearly allergic to fun and good taste unlike yourself mystery phone buddy

Re: 4/4

[detectiveofthewest]

are you only allowed to have fun on certain days, like mondays and wednesdays

[megidoomed]

and even then only for short periods of time its inhumane

[detectiveofthewest]

maybe you can negotiate for better conditions

threaten to spam your housemate's contacts with mushy love letters or else

[megidoomed]

the problem with that is he pretty much has none in here and its kinda depressing

[ Seriously. ]

also thatd probably get me salted again but itd be so worth it

[detectiveofthewest]

that is kind of depressing

how'd you end up living together?

[megidoomed]

[ A moment of silence for Will's social life. ]

i fell off a roof and landed next to him and he couldnt be bothered kicking me out

[ .... make of that what you will. ]

howd you two meet? you sound like you know eachother

[detectiveofthewest]

it's pretty boring actually

he was just kind of standing around. later he told me to get lost

so I guess it's a pattern?

[megidoomed]

theres definitely a pattern of him being grumpy for no good reason

like right now

he keeps yelling at me to stop ruining his life while completely ignoring the phone its really rude

who even does that

[detectiveofthewest]

is he actually saying stop ruining my life

I thought they only did that in movies

right before they stomp up to their room and start playing crawling in my skin

1/??? i am so sorry in advance

[megidoomed]

well no not literally

but i understand his heart

and his heart shops at hot topic

[ Okay that may be going too far but yolo. ]

[alethiological]

Stop changing my password.

And please, you're too off. My heart is a fragile Christmas ornament that you keep shattering on the cold, hard, loveless floor of your puns.

[megidoomed]

id stop changing it if you picked something that wasnt dumb

youre breaking my heart here dont be rude

such cruelty might end up being the death of me 0n0

[detectiveofthewest]

so are you guys dating

1/wait for ghostie

[alethiological]

Those puns were rather well executed.

[And on this version of the comment, the sadist grin falls off to apathy at the addition.

Well then. Let the games begin.]

I think she could find someone much better, but she doesn't believe how drop dead gorgeous she is.

i struggled to think of a pun what good am i

[megidoomed]

[ Aradia takes a moment to stick her head out of the phone, giving Will the biggest deadpan stare she can muster because that pun was awful and also why, before skedaddling back to electronic safety in case the salt makes a reappearance.

Is this really the direction they're taking the shitposting. Really. ]

being dead makes it hard to be boo-tiful

its a gravely serious matter ok

no good at all, banned

[detectiveofthewest]

[what this again]

graveyard puns really

of corpse, you guys are perfect for each other

too bad here forever, also 1/x

[alethiological]

My apologies. I rarely foray into the wordplay sector on account of I hate it.

[But it's making her mad so HEY. All's fair in backstabbing.]

Besides, she's the one making the graveyard puns. I'm simply making death ones. Though I don't think either of us have the right to make corpse puns, seeing as I have a pulse and hers has probably rotted away by now.

2/3 - commits soul sudoku

[megidoomed]

[ Wh--

HEY, that's her corpse to make bad jokes about. Not seen is Aradia changing Will's password again. ]

i still have more of a right to de-composing corpse puns then you do so there

[megidoomed]

[ That wasn't childish at all, shut up. ]

death puns are a work of art and im doing my best

[detectiveofthewest]

this isn't what I was expecting when I texted

regretting everything tbh

[not really]

[alethiological]

Would you rather have the normal stereotype for this conversation? Ooh, Mister Mystery, tell me about your closed rooms, swoons, or whatever else are the half-cocked tropes these days.

[Observation: drywall shitposter. Not allergic to fun, take that ghost girl. And the next text comes at such an immediate rapid-fire, the typing speed can only be the stuff of fear:]

By the way. I wasn't alive for the 1951 serial you're referencing on line seventeen. That was the live series that the BBC, yet again, lost the tapes for. As if that's not par the course for everyone's assumptions by now.

[That is not an admonishment for messing up dates, not like it's his fault, but simply a correction in case he tries to pull the same thing later. But more importantly holy shit how is he that far already-]

Though if you're referencing it, at least something of relative value was lost there. A shame.

[detectiveofthewest]

tell your boyfriend that I'm not going to invite him into my closed rooms

also that not being alive isn't an excuse

you whippersnappers, always complaining about not being alive

I watched a video once where this kid didn't know who ace of base was

a tragic symptom of a greater societal disconnect with history

[apparently directed at Aradia]

i am late into forever and im so sorry

[megidoomed]

to be honest im not sure why youd invite him in the first place

all hed do is make dumb faces at everything

[ When utterly confused, revert to default tactic: throwing shade at the actual owner of the phone she's using. ]

unfortunately i have to lose out on respect points here because i didnt know who they were either until just now

and im pretty sure thats because theyre obsolete by now

sorry number dude 0n0

you're never forgiven

[detectiveofthewest]

I accept your apology

also what if I'm not a dude

what if I'm a highly trained parrot

you don't know